Cheesy Christian Songs

I'm such a snob. You know those songs by like Steven Curtis Chapman or I don't know, just about any song they play on the z88.3 in Orlando? Well, typically I can listen to a song once and if it rubs me the wrong way---I HATE IT....that's one of my personality flaws---at least we are talking about songs. Usually this can be a problem for me when it comes to certain people. ooopps

Anyways, so....remember that song "Blessed Be your name" ? For whatever reason, that song irks me. It always has. Maybe it's the uppity melody, maybe it's the fact that it is played over and over again on the z. I don't know....

But, God always has a way of humbling me with my judgemental arrogance (even if it's just about a silly song). So, this is what happened....I sorda had "a moment" with this song today. I was riding in the car with my sister & of course she is not nearly as snobbish about her music and she put on a cd with popular christian songs (probably a WOW07 cd). Anyways, so, I was riding in the backseat and it was her car and her music....so I was forced to listen to the song. Yes, I have heard this song, yes, I know it well, but it sounded different to me today.

The words got me & all of the sudden----out of nowhere--- I suddenly had tears coming down my face.
This is what I was thinking:
Right now, I am struggling. Right now, I am dealing with some stuff that is making my heart hurt & I don't understand it at all. Yet, right now Jesus has not left me. Right now, Jesus is still the same. the same God....
That thought struck me.
I want to be the kind of disciple of Jesus who can truly say: "Lord, you are good. Just because".----even when my heart is heavy and full of pain.

Blessed be your name because of you, not because of me.

I went through this phase in my relationship with Jesus when I thought that was just a Christianyyy way of glazing over the real issues and copping out of how you were really feeling about something.
Like- by just saying- "God you are good all the time. All the time, you are good"---is a free pass to not having to talk about what's "really going on". And, you know- I still think that is true in certain cases.

However, I feel like I have entered a new season of my relationship with Jesus...it's one where I am honest about how I am feeling with him---even when I am frustrated and mad at him.
However, I feel like I can bring those feelings to Him and BECAUSE he is good, because he is full of grace & love and BECAUSE he is not shifted nor controlled by my feelings or circumstances.....I can then trust him with those feelings and have faith in Him as I say---"my life sucks right now, but I Choose to believe you. I choose to believe that you don't suck"

Get it?

So, I don't get this fully, but I want to b/c I believe this brings a whole new depth to the relationship with Christ.
It's one where-----your circumstances or the pain in your life might make you focus on yourself, yet, despite all this you can choose to turn your eyes to Jesus. So, therefore- the focus shifts from you and turns to Jesus.

My heart might be heavy, but my faith is not controlled by my feelings of heaviness. You are still the same God. You have not changed and you will carry me through.
This is being a disciple (i think so) and this takes discipline.

Now, can I just go into something else? This is something that bothers me about myself and so many christians in my life-----lack of discipline.

Discipline means choosing to do something that is difficult or that DOES NOT come naturally.

And, I just feel like so many christians bring in the worldly(for lack of a better word) concept of "my rights" into the relationship with Jesus, and that just doesn't add up.
When you embrace this fixation of "your rights", then there's really no room for discipline or for making a choice to do something that's hard or choosing to believe what's difficult to believe.

Why would there be need for discipline when you can't see past your own rights??? Your own entitlement.
I feel like a lot of christians (myself at the top of the list) waste a lot of time and energy here....

just a thought.