Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Here are the lyrics to the song that we sang at church tonight & now---at a quarter to midnight, I find myself laying in my bed just listening to it over and over again...and over again.
I'm desperate to truly believe that....to truly be transformed by the reality that Jesus never lets go of me, that he takes away my fears & i truly have nothing to be afraid of b/c of His love.
You know when you just KNOW something is true in your head but you just can't seem to grasp that truth in your heart?
God is really dealing with me. Some real issues that I don't want to face about myself & it hurts like hell.
He doesn't feel "enough" to me....even though I know in my head that he is. I keep telling myself that, but I can't seem to wrap my heart around it.
I'm zoning in on that part in the song where it says "I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on"----tonight I feel that way. I don't even know if I am really holding onto him, I guess I am b/c there's nothing else, but I literally feel him holding on to my heart tonight---holding on to me and saying-----"laurie, I'm not letting go, I'm not through with you....I've got something more..."
I don't know that I've ever felt his grasp so much. And let me just say one more time....let me let you into my rebellious heart....it doesn't even want him right now....it wants something else, it wants someone else....something or someone to take away the momentary fear...the momentary pain....it doesn't even want him, yet he's holding onto me so tight. I guess that's grace. I know that's grace.
Someone once said that grace was an invitation to be beautiful...I think it was Sara Groves. She's right.
It's an invitation out of the filth....out of the momentary, except right now it doesn't even feel like an invitation...it feels like He's literally pulling me up and out (invitation or not) and saying....
"You will not go back there---i'm not letting go....
I'm not done with you."
grace.
I'm so unworthy.
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2 comments:
the same song by Sara says "redemption comes in strange places, small spaces, calling out the best of who you are..."
thanks for being honest. I really believe that honesty doesn't just help us, it helps others who are exposed to it. It makes others feel less isolated, and it gives them hope for something they're facing or it plants a seed for later when they will face something similar. You did that for me today.
wow, how much you have touched and given so many to think of and feel.you surly are not alone,but dont give up ever on the love and direction the lord will take you to.ah,the wonders our father has in store for us, I promise you, never will you be sorry what He has in store for you,never ever!!thank you for who you are and so many doors you have opened for others.Casey,your a insightful doll,thank you too,may many seeds get planted.Let us all share anything with each other,God loves us and I belive thid id hoe it starts. light and love,Leza
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