So, I've been thinking about how I automatically seem to function day-to-day out of my fears, anxieties, doubts....etc. Out of a "me" that would seemingly have no hope. Remember how the Bible says that we are a "new creation---the old has gone, the new has come?" So, why can't I get past it.
I suppose this is what they call Sanctification, but it's just so dang frustrating. i hate it.
But, freedom is worth a fight---that sounds so braveheart-ish and i am not meaning to sound cheesy. haha, I am always cheesy, but really. I think about that....in our natural selves....the selves where we are operating out of the "old"---which comes so naturally, so second nature...when we are operating out of this old place---we automatically go to a place of bondage. We go back to our shit....so-to-speak. but, the new self is worth fighting for. I think it must be, b/c this old self sucks. Am I making any sense at all?
I used to intern for an amazing organization called International Justice Mission-[http://www.ijm.org] its a Christian Human Rights group that is based out of DC and has offices all over the world. They are doing amazing things all in the name of Jesus---demonstrating God's heart for justice.
Anyways, I was just thinking about how- during my time there- I heard so many stories about young girls that they had rescued out of sex-slavery. These young girls, 8,9, 10, 15.... they had been tricked into getting a "job" that they thought was ligit b/c their family was in a desperate situation and then they were hidden away in dark holes----only to be taken out for sex....sometimes 30-40 men a day. Disgusting.
anyways, I say all this-- b/c IJM has encountered NUMEROUS girls who will GO BACK to the BROTHELS after IJM has rescued them! I mean- seriously, doesn't that seem unfathomable? The thing is- this is all they know- this has become their identity- they have been abused and lied to and made to feel that they deserve nothing more and that they have no hope of knowing anything more. sometimes, their families have turned their backs on them....they go back to what they know.
They go back to where they have been made to believe they belong.
Doesn't this sound familiar. I feel a little trite to compare my situation to a young girl being sexually abused, but in reality---it all comes from the prince of darkness and his lies. Doesn't it? Isn't that a good picture of the internal state of human beings----we cannot even accept the light, the hope, the FREEDOM, the LIFE that we have been brought into....not only can we not accept it, we fight it and go back to "what we know"----at least I do.
read these lyrics by nichole nordeman---she says it so well...
Did you come that we might just survive?
Did you come so we could just get by?
Did you walk among us
So we might merely limp along beside?
I was bound, I have been set free
But I have settled for apathy
Did you come to make me new
And know I'd crawl right back into the skin you found me in?
It's where I am, not where I've been
You make me want to live
You make me want to live
You came to shake us
And to wake us up to something more
Than we'd always settled for
And you make me want to live
We've all been up on the mountain top
A golden glow that?s bound to soon wear off
Then it's back to the mundane telling tales of glory days
When we were hopeful that this change was here to stay
So why would a young man
Live in a waste land
When the castle of his dreams is standing by?
Why would a princess
Put on an old dress
To dance with her beloved and a chance to catch his eye?
2 comments:
Those stories from IJM sound exactly like the book of Hosea...it illustrates the relationship God has with his people. Some might have read the book "Redeeming Love" it is novel based on Hosea. God too illustrates using extreme situations-- though for many of us it is not extreme but a reality of our lives-- Hosea illustrates what God's relationship with us is like and how much he pursues and is patient with us as we slowly come to him. Someday we will turn from our ways and God is patient with us as we fight the battle (he will never give us more than we can handle) to turn away from what we know. It is hard to understand how much he loves us and often we go back to what we know because we feel guilty about our past actions (often done because we were tricked and lied to or simply because we know nothing else) and can not understand forgiveness or grace-- we each have our reasons. But the greatness of our beloved is uncomprehensible (which is why we often question and build up walls) and he continues to pursue despite our flaws because he loves us and seeks us with all of his heart. This comment has no grand ending other than to say we will be found and we will turn away from the lies (even if it is one lie at a time, each taking years to unravel)that we know to become new... and that is grand!
I love the book "Redeeming Love"- I stayed up all night to finish it:)
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