thoughts...

well, there's so much on my mind that it's hard to get any of it out. I've been trying all morning to "be still" since the days are numbered where I will actually have time to even do that.
anyways, it's so difficult to quiet my mind and then sometimes I try to hard that it feels so unnatural and contrived. I hate that feeling.

I was in a wedding this weekend of a good friend of mine & I didn't want to go to it at first b/c I was just "in a bad place" & the thought of being around people that I had to make small talk with was so annoying. However, it turned out to be a surprisingly great weekend. I shared a condo with these girls that I had never met before who live on the west coast and we just all really connected. It was so authentic, and I felt loved by God thru them this past weekend. We were all talking how cool it was to be strangers and then to find this unique connection with one another just b/c of Jesus.

AND- the wedding was just so great....It reminded me what love should look like & how I have sold myself short so many times thinking that I could never "get that" kind of love. I have never really been one to believe that there is just one person out there for you, but I dont know....now I've been thinking about it and reconsidering. You can try and try with so many people (and I Have) and then perhaps you find that one and it just works...deep, authentic, passionate love just works. You know? Maybe I am wrong, but I'd like to believe that and wait for that.
I realize that so many times, I would have settled for less, ahhh.......it's so strange the sovereignty of God and how He literally RIPS us out of what we say we want and what we think is good....all for something great (I hope)

That's what my mentor always says: "sometimes what keeps us from something great is settling for something good"